{Helpmeet In Training} Harsh Love

Does this look familiar?

Yup, we're back at it again. Stephen was accepted into the second semester of LIFT; I'm so proud of him for how hard he had to work to be accepted again, and for how hard he continues to work now that he is up there. He's been gone for about a week a half now, and my countdown chain has made it from 118 to 107.

But, the point of this was not to write about the countdown; I want to write about something I've been learning this past month - harsh love. It all started one day after Christmas when I was bored and decided to pick up one of the books Stephen has to read for this semester. It's called Your God Is Too Safe, written by Mark Buchanan. I was only able to read the first half before Stephen had to leave for LIFT, but even just that taught me so much. 

The idea that Mark really stresses throughout the book is the idea of "borderland". A place between the worldly life and the Christian life that is safe, and yet full of apathy. You may be comfortable in borderland, but you'll never really accomplish much. He then goes on to discuss the ways in which Christians have been blinded into believing that borderland is the best place to be, and how we have tried to mold the One True God into our own timid, lazy, permissive god of the borderland. The main point that I took away from the book is that God loves us too much to let us stay in borderland. Even if He has to chase us out with wind, rain, and hail. Mark quotes C.S. Lewis's The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, talking about Aslan:

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the king I tell you."

The second thing which got thrown into the mix in this lesson that I've been learning is 1 Peter 5:6-7. We read these verses in family Bible study the day before Stephen left, and they really stood out to me: 

"Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

The mighty hand of God - a hand works; it creates, destroys, moves, cleans, comforts. So, Peter is telling us to submit and humble ourselves under whatever the hand of God is doing in our lives. But how can we do that when so often God's hand is not gentle? By casting our cares upon Him. By saying, "Your will be done. You be glorified." By recognizing that each and every hardship that comes our way is for our benefit.

And so, all of this has been thrown together to teach me an important lesson. I know God is good, but so often He also feels harsh. And yet, in this season of my life, that very harshness is what  shows me His great love for me. Even as I was crying right after Stephen left, I kept hearing these words play through my mind: God loves me too much to let me stay in borderland. And that has brought me comfort; I know, without a doubt, that God is working mightily in both Stephen and me during this second semester. I know that He is using the challenges to bring us out of borderland, and into a deeper relationship with the Living God.

So, is He safe? No. But, He is SO good.

{Helpmeet In Training} Boring Love

I read this great article last week about "boring men and the women who live with them." I'm sure a lot of you have seen it going around on Facebook, and maybe you've even read it. It's written as advice to men, and I definitely agree with all of it.

 

But what caught me is that is it also great advice for women to appreciate their men. I think as women it is easy to feel unloved if our men don't have a big surprise for our birthdays, or don't cook a fancy candlelight dinner for Valentines Day, or don't put on a huge fanfare for us when we think we deserve it. What we need to remember is that true love is shown in taking out the trash, unclogging the sink, going to work every day, and putting up with our crazy female hormones. So maybe he doesn't bring home roses every week, or plan a special romantic date every Friday, or leave mushy notes around the house. But it takes a lot more love and devotion for him to put up with a lousy boss 5 days a week, or brave his fears in order to be a good leader, or put his arms around you when you're crying for no reason at all.

In light of that, we are blessed women indeed who have "boring", hard-working, Godly men. Let us never take that blessing for granted, and may we always remember to see the strength of our man's love in the little, everyday actions of their lives.

Photo credit: Ann Voskamp

{Helpmeet In Training} A Weekend at LIFT

This past weekend, I was so incredibly blessed with the opportunity to go visit My Man in the ADK at LIFT. For several weeks prior, it was very up-in-the-air whether I would be able to go or not, so I considered the simple fact of being able to visit a huge blessing.

The two short days there turned out to be a bigger blessing that I could have ever imagined. Of course, the biggest blessing was simply being with Stephen again, and getting to do so many wonderful things with him. But the other main thing that I was so humbled by was the deep love that this group of 30 young adults has for each other, and for every one they meet. The welcome his parents and I got when we arrived was astounding. And every time I walked into the same room as the LIFTers, I was immediately cheered and encouraged by their big smiles, joyous laughter, and positive words. 

Saturday morning, his parents and I got up super early and were on the road by 6am. It is about a four hour drive there, and every mile increased my excitement. By the time we arrive around 10, the mix of caffeine and adrenaline in me made me start shaking. The first LIFTer I met was this lovely lady next to me, Lisa. She gave me such a warm welcome, and it was cool getting to talk to her before Stephen showed up.

That very first hug from Stephen again was past description, and I was pretty sure I was never ever ever going to let go of him again. But, of course, I did have to. After having lunch and meeting all the other LIFTers, he and his parents and I went to a nearby antique shop that was right on the Hudson River.

Together again, at last. It felt so good to be able to slip my hand into his.

When we got back to camp, it was time to get ready for dinner. Stephen, of course, had been telling everyone that we were reenactors, and they were all interested in seeing us dressed up. So, I brought down his Confederate uniform and my new organdy dress. It was wonderful seeing him in his uniform again, and getting to wear my new dress for him! Our friend Nate blessed us with a mini  photo shoot once we were all dressed up. I can't wait to see the rest of his pictures!

Meal times with the group were so fun. At every meal, most of the group would be present, and we would all gather around one or two tables, and talk and laugh and joke. There was always so much joy and fun in group, and everybody got along so well. As Stephen said, they really have become family.

In the evening we got to see around camp, and Stephen and I had the chance to play some piano for each other. Hearing him play Moonlight Sonata brought tears to my eyes, because I have missed it so much.

I was blessed to be able to spend the night in one of the girls dorms with three of the girls. I got a chance to talk with two of them before bed, and they were both so sweet and wonderful. Sunday morning, Stephen and I had a chance to do our own Bible study together, something that we had always tried to do here as well. Then we had breakfast, and went to their church in Speculator. The service was wonderful, and I loved being at church again with Stephen.

This beautiful lady, Becca, is one of the girls I shared a room with, and I loved getting to know her. She has such a sweet, quiet, calm spirit.

Sunday afternoon, Stephen had to work housekeeping, and I was thankful to be given permission to be able to work right along side him. It's so cool to be able to enjoy working with him just as much as spending free time with him.

Then, after dinner on Sunday, it was time to leave. It was so hard to leave, not only Stephen, but everyone I met there. I arrived feeling like I didn't belong, and left feeling like I too had found a new family.

A week from today, the entire group is leaving for their two-week mission trip to the Dominican Republic. I'm so excited for Stephen, as he was assigned to work in Physical Therapy; he's going to be so good at that!

I am so incredibly thankful to have had the chance to visit Stephen and meet everybody up there. This has been and will continue to be a fantastic experience for him; and, even though I'm not there, the effects have been oozing out of Stephen into me as well. This has been challenging beyond belief for both of us, but we are both growing and learning so much. What a great God we serve!

{Helpmeet In Training} Time Flies

This fall, my Love and I will be embarking on a new adventure. He will be attending a semester long leadership course in the Adirondacks through Camp Of The Woods, and I passing the time at home, waiting for him to return. Although I am thankful that it is only one semester, and everybody tries to encourage me by saying that it will pass quickly, it is still 3 1/2 months without my Man.

With his leaving date only a little over a month away, I find my self dreading August. I find myself saddened every time I think of it's approaching nearness. Even when I am with him it is difficult to be cheerful, because I am reminded of how soon we will be apart. And yet, I am reminded of a picture I once drew. In  the corner it reads: "Time flies. Cherish every moment."

I have to remind myself that I should be cheerful BECAUSE we have so little time. When he is gone, I won't want to look back on our time and feel like I wasted it in misery. I'll want to look back and remember all the fun memories.

But the hardest part if that joy and cheerfulness doesn't just happen. I must CHOOSE to be joyful. I like the way Debbie Pearl explains it in her book Created To Be His Helpmeet. We must practice joy the same way we practice the piano. Yes, we will often hit the wrong notes of depression and gloominess and unthankfulness. But, every time we hit a wrong note, we need to correct it. And sooner or later, we'll hit the good notes of joy, happiness, and thankfulness more and more often.

And I want to be that way. I want to cherish each and every moment I have with my Man, because times flies far too quickly.

{Helpmeet In Training} When I Grow Up

Yesterday was my parent's 25th Anniversary party. It was a simple picnic in the park with a small group of friends, and that entirely suits them. But, even though it wasn't a huge affair, it still was a really big deal. I was so thankful and blessed to be able to celebrate the fact that my parents are still happily married 25 years later.

Now that I'm entering adulthood, I'm really seeing what great examples my parents are of a God-fearing couple. Yes, my parents have faults; yes, they argued sometimes; yes, they  made a few mistakes when raising us. But they served God as best as they know how. My mom submits to and is a helpmeet to my dad, she got us three kids through all 12 years of homeschooling, and she runs the household smoothly and efficiently. My dad gets up and goes to work everyday, disciplined us when we were being rotten children, and leads the family with confidence and safety through many ups and downs. And that's just to mention a few of the things they did and still do.

Besides all this, I think what I treasure most about my parents is the fact that they laugh and smile and have fun. My dad has always been full of jokes and laughter, and my mom is always ready with some sarcastic wit all in good fun. I never remember having a gloomy or miserable household. Dinner time was always looked forward to because of the crazy conversations we got into. And even now, 25 years later, my parents still joke with each other; they laugh, and have a great time being together. They don't just tolerate being married, they treasure it. And that's a great thing to see.

My parents are really amazing. And when I grow up, I want to be like them.

{Helpmeet In Training} Glorious Internet

If you couldn't tell by the title of this post, I really love internet. Especially after going two weeks without having it easily accessible. But finally, this morning, that was fixed!!!

Anyways, here I am in my new apartment, and loving it. The move itself went great, and since then it's been a fun time of learning and adventure (gosh, I sound like a kid's TV show). Things like grocery shopping, laundromats, and cooking with a gas stove have all been a part of this newness.

But, I'm learning. I didn't forget anything this week when I went grocery shopping! Maybe, I may actually start remembering to pull the meat for dinner out of the freezer in the morning, so I don't have to go through the thaw-in-the-microwave routine every night.

I've found that a laundromat really isn't so scary, though it is a rather boring and somewhat dirty, and I've already lost one sock to it's $2.25-per-load washing machines.

All my herbs are growing happily from their places on the deep windowsills, and furniture is slowing trickling into fill the apartment. Curtains will be hung by the end of the week, and with internet now working, I'd say this apartment is well under-way to becoming home.

All in all, I'm really enjoying this new phase of life, even though there is tons of change in it!

{Helpmeet In Training} Grown-Up Birthday

You know you're growing up when you get this as a birthday present and you're thrilled! =D

I'm in the midst of the final week before moving, and it's crazy! Packing, making lists, cleaning, painting my dresser.......yeah, I'm busy.

But, on Sunday my family had a get-together to celebrate my brother's and my birthdays. Two of the presents I received were that basket full of kitchen items, and an ironing board! When you're getting ready to set up a house for the first time, it's all those practical household items that make you happy!

{Helpmeet In Training} A Big Change

I've heard it said that change is a good thing; perhaps it may be. I also know that change is a scary thing. Whether we find change to be a fun adventure or a terrifying monster, it will always come. And right now, Change is knocking on my front door.

Why? Well, because I'm moving out of my parents house! Crazy, isn't it? But, I have the opportunity to move into an apartment with a friend from work. It's a nice little place, and within my limited budget. So, in less than two weeks, I'll be packing up and moving to Caledonia!

I'm looking forward to it, and scared of it all at the same time. There's just so much to think about. But, I believe I'm doing the right thing, and I know God is working in all of this. So, say a prayer and wish me luck!

{Helpmeet In Training} Keep On Living

I recently had a conversation with My Man about the future of our country and government which really got me thinking. I don't know about you, but I've always dreamed of what I guess could be called a relatively comfortable future. I've always assumed I would be living a good life full of freedom and prosperity.

Now, I'm not trying to be doom and gloom, but in all honesty, our country is not headed down a happy path. Between attacks on Christianity, homeschooling, and personal liberty, my future is not looking very friendly. I've even had many older adults tell me that they feel bad for me and my children because we're going to have a rough go of it. Thinking about these things makes me want to curl up in a hole and never come out again. Why keep living when your future looks so dismal?

That question actually prompts another: why am I living in the first place? Am I living for my own pleasure, happiness, and comfort? Or am I living to glorify, obey, and serve Christ? I've grown up in the church, so "living for Christ" is a phrase that I've heard bandied around my entire life. But what does it really mean?

I'm not going to attempt describe what it means, because I don't even have a full grasp on it yet. But I do know this much; if I'm living to glorify Christ, it may or may not change what I already do, but it most certainly will change my motives for what I do. And motives are a big deal. If I'm living just for my own pleasure, then quite frankly there's not much of a reason to keep living in light of the rough future foreseen. But, if I'm living to glorify Christ, then I have great reason to keep on living, because I can do that no matter what happens in my future.

{Helpmeet In Training} - What I Do

I have been reading the book Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl on and off for the past few months. I read it the first time in 2010, but I am learning ever so much more this time around.

Several people have asked me why I would read that book, when it's written to married women, and I'm sure there are many other people who think I'm nuts, yet have simply had the good grace to let it pass. I read it because, though I am not yet a married woman, I consider myself a "helpmeet in training".

I look at it this way. Let's say I wanted to become a nurse. If I just went to my local hospital and asked for a job as a nurse, saying that I would "learn as I go", everybody would think I was insane. No, they would want me to learn as much as I could about nursing BEFORE I got the job. People's health and lives would be on the line, so I could not afford to make all the mistakes that would come with learning as I go.

Seems to me that we should apply the same logic to marriage. Granted, there are plenty of things which cannot be put into practice and cannot be learned until I'm actually married, but why not learn as much as I can now? My future husband and children's health and lives are on the line, both physically and spiritually speaking. It's a big deal.

And so I read. And I put what I can into practice. And I observe others, some who are and some who are not practicing these principles. I watch and learn and read and practice. Because I want to be the very best helpmeet that I can be for My Man.

Back At It

I'm not much of a writer. In school, I always hated my writing assignments. Maybe that's why I've never been diligent in keeping up with journals, or blogs. It's been three months since my last post, and several people have commented that they wish I would post more.

Well, about a month ago, a friend posted on her own blog a review for a blog planning kit. I had never thought about the idea of planning blog posts. But, plans helps me. Structure and order and routine are the only way for me to continuously do something. So, I've made some plans.

Starting next week, I'm going to try blogging three times a week, once for each of three categories. We'll see how it goes. In the mean time, I added some freshness to the blog with a new, created-by-me background.